this midwestern slump has taken its toll.
damp and dreary skies above a lonely town,
the flat and frozen fields begging me
to escape to a place greener and more alive.
my body sags under the weight of
a winter heavy with snow, spent indoors, sighing.
trying to disentangle the tendrils of longing and confusion;
to find shelter in this tundra.
gone are the days when i tried to be who
i should have been before, with you.
my arms frozen mid-reach, towards the cold sun.
when, realizing too late that its warmth would not touch me in time,
i stopped.
i am the one who i was before you,
and who i will be long after these icy
memories have sunk below the murky surface.
i am the one who will be who i want to be,
not who i want to be for you because of your
terrifying silences; storms of apathy and indecision.
"and now that you don't have to be perfect,
you can be good." (john steinbeck, east of eden)
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