Lines written in late spring, after you played me my favorite song on the guitar.

When you smile at me,
oh, I can’t bear it. I have to smile back
even if I am trying to play it cool.

Maybe it is cliché to talk about your smile.
or the fact that I can’t seem to pay attention
to anyone else
if you’re around.

But maybe the reason so many of these
thoughts I keep thinking are cliché
is not just because my thoughts
are trite and overused,
(however trite and overused they may be).

Maybe my thoughts are cliché
because there have been so many people
all around this world
who have felt this way about someone.
and there are only so many ways to describe that
butterflies in your stomach
walking on air
can’t seem to talk without
randomly having to say your name
feeling.

I just wish you didn’t have a girlfriend.

Revision: The View from Five Foot, Eleven Inches Tall

The tree in the front yard of my childhood home
doesn’t look as big as it used to.

In fact, I would be able to touch the big branch
I used to only dream of reaching
and I wouldn’t even have to stand on my tiptoes.

The world that seemed so full of wonder
doesn’t look as big as it used to, either.

As my I have grown, so has my
understanding that life doesn’t turn out
the way that you imagined it as a child.

But standing under this tree
in my old yard
under the same sun I stood under
so many years ago
I don’t feel that I’ve changed much at all.
I can feel the excitement of looking
up into the glorious blue sky
and knowing that if I reached the top
of the tree, I could
touch God’s fingertips with mine.

Trees keep you grounded.
They help you remain who you were.

Revision: The Best Kind of Laziness

The grass around my body is smooth and soft

it tickles the bare skin that touches it

my fingers and toes and elbows and ankles

feel the organic realness of this grass

I look up at the brilliant blue sky

there is one fluffy cloud

white, buoyant and happy

not lonely in its solitude

I resolve to watch this cloud

relentlessly, until I can't see it anymore

but relentlessly is a harsh word

to describe watching a cloud pass overhead

the way I watch it is more contentedly

and full of dreaming

and less like a watch dog or a prison guard

and more like the slow lapping of waves

on a quiet shore

or the soft whisper of the wind

through the screen of a porch

Revision: 4400 Deer View Road, Downstairs, On the Right

It wasn't exactly supposed to be a bedroom

It was probably intended to be more like

a small toyroom

a storage room

or a sitting room.

That's not to say I was mistreated.

although I never understood why

my twin sister

demanding her own room

meant me moving

down the hall

into the smaller room.

But after a while, I was glad I got the room

because it was my own.

It had one big picture window

that looked out onto the yard.

Of course, the window did start at ground level

so the only thing I saw was the dirt underneath

the deck.

It had just enough room to squeeze in

one trundle bed

one bureau

and one nightstand.

It went through a lot of themes.

Jungle first

complete with a potted palm tree

and neon green, high-gloss walls.

Then dragons

I am not sure why that ever happened

it was a boy's bedspread

black dragons with Asian script.

After that was Hawaiian

bright blues and greens

with hibiscus flowers.

During all of these stages,

the walls were covered in

band posters, movie posters

my favorite poems.

What made 14-year-old me me.

And then we moved.

Ars Poetica

The first thing you need to know about

planting a tree is that

it takes time.

Keep that in mind, or you will

quickly lose heart

and abandon the seed.

Secondly, do not rush

and forget to take care deciding

what kind of tree you want.

Think about the trees of your childhood

trees that bent in the harsh winds of storms

trees that budded and bloomed in spring

trees that held you in their arms.

After carefully thinking about those trees,

choose the tree you want.

The third thing to remember is that

you need to pay particular

attention to where you

plant your tree.

If you plant it too close to your house

there will be no room

and you will have to cut it down

just when it starts to grow.

If you plant it too far away

you will not be able to tend it

or watch it grow

or sit in its branches.

Another thing to remember is

that you should prune your tree.

Without pruning, your tree may die

and others will not be able to enjoy it,

and you will regret neglecting your tree.

Above all, remember that

planting

tending

and

growing

your tree

is something that only you can do.

No one else has the same exact

touch as you have.

4400 Deer View Road, Downstairs, To the Right

It wasn't exactly supposed to be a bedroom

I mean, it was probably intended to be more like

a small toyroom

a storage room

or a sitting room.

That's not to say I was mistreated

although I never understood why my twin sister

demanding her own room

meant me moving

down the hall

into the smaller room.

But after a while, I was glad I got the room

It had one big picture window

that looked out onto the yard.

Of course, the window did start at ground level

so the only thing I saw was the dirt underneath

the deck.

It had just enough room to squeeze in

one trundle bed

one bureau

and one nightstand.

It went through a lot of themes

jungle first

complete with a potted palm tree

and neon green, high-gloss walls.

Then dragons

I am not sure why that ever happened

it was a boy's bedspread

black dragons with Asian script.

After that was Hawaiian

bright blues and greens

with hibiscus flowers.

And then we moved

I miss that room.

I spent most of my formative years there

Well, junior high anyway.

why i hate darkness and times to stop and be still (shadow poem)

lying awake at night

looking up at what I

know to be a ceiling

even though I can't see it

I hear you breathing next to me

and I hate you

because the love you have for me

the love I can feel and hear and taste

the love I don't have to assume exists

well, that love wouldn't be alive

if she still was

The Best Kind of Laziness (Witnessing Poem)

The grass around my body is smooth and soft

it tickles the bare skin that touches it

my fingers and toes and elbows and ankles

feel the organic realness of this grass

better than any man-made carpet

this is God's carpet

I look up at God's ceiling

there is one fluffy cloud

white, buoyant and happy

not lonely in its aloneness

I resolve to watch this cloud

relentlessly, until I can't see it anymore

but relentlessly is a harsh word

to describe watching a cloud pass overhead

the way I watch it is more contentedly

and full of dreaming

and less like a watch dog or a prison guard

and more like the slow lapping of waves

on a quiet shore

or the soft whisper of the wind

through the screen of a porch

Harjo Poem

All roads lead to obscurity.

The collection of items on my desk is
random interesting depressing

Nyquil, Dayquil, two old cups of tea
glasses
earrings
pennies
And on the shelves are rows and rows of books
Rand
Hemingway
Salinger
And the top shelf is even more eclectic
Two potted cacti
ten boxes of tea
A cup of paintbrushes
And all this makes me ask is
what’s
the
point?