please use other door

I make a point of avoiding

back entrances

side doors

and alternate routes into buildings

maybe it's my innate fear

of getting in trouble. 

of somehow mistaking one door

for another;

being somewhere

I'm not supposed to be. 

(and really, what would happen?

self-deprecating laugh---reddening cheeks--apology---door closed---life goes on)

or perhaps it's my tendency to

barrel headlong into situations,

to face everything straight on. 

I detest all that is sneaking

and passive aggressive and implied. 

subtleties do not impress me. 

beating around the bush (or walking around the building) is not my style. 

or, perhaps it is the simple

pride buried deep within my chest. 

avoiding the moment of embarrassment. 

because what is more humiliating than confidently striding up to a door,

self-assuredly pulling the handle--

only to find it locked?

all your vanity and self-possession

left with you

abruptly outside

in the cold.